The first time I came to Laity Lodge I was 33 years old and full of answers. I was the pastor of a small church that I thought was deep and authentic and creative and righteous. My wife and I had two small children. We were going to change the world. It was just a matter of time.
You have to drive through a river to get to Laity Lodge. Yes, drive your car in the water. I thought it was a cute idea that first year. Creative and lovely and all of that – sure. But mostly I wanted to get there and get busy doing whatever we were going to do. Because at the time I thought you went to retreats to get things done. To add some more answers to your collection. To get some fresh instructions from Jesus. And then you took all the stuff you got at the retreat back out into the “real world” where you did things with it.
Photo I took while driving in the river.
Of course I had a wonderful time. Who doesn’t have a wonderful time at Laity Lodge? I just wasn’t ready for its deeper lessons. I recognized the peace that surrounds this place. I moved in the rhythms of its slower pace that weekend. I even stopped taking so many notes toward the end of the retreat. I experienced the Laity Lodge way of life, but I was about a decade away from understanding.
It’s okay. Laity Lodge received me as I was. It gave me what I was ready to receive.
The 8th time I came to Laity Lodge I was 48 years old. A bad haircut was making my receding hairline look more like baldness, so I had taken to wearing a hat. Most of my answers had been replaced with questions. My church never did change the world, though I think we changed a few lives. Emotionally exhausted, I had resigned from my job as pastor, though I still wasn’t sure how I was going to make a living. My 17 year old daughter was pregnant, my savings were just about gone, and I hadn’t heard anything from God – as far as I knew – for quite some time.
This time I rolled down the windows to hear my tires splashing in the water as I drove along the familiar limestone bed of the Frio River. The sound and feel of the water beneath my wheels has become a ritual for me when I come to Laity Lodge, and I felt like a baby in a basket of bulrushes. A hammock received my weary body. The turtles in the river above the dam took communion from my hand. The wonderful food awakened a primal desire in me.
I’ve been coming to this place for 15 years and I might be ready to hear.
I’m trying to tell you how much I love Laity Lodge and what it has meant to me. This sacred place in the Texas Hill Country is like a second home, and I am received there like a prodigal returning from the far country. Tim – the chef – somehow always remembers me. I don’t know how he does that. Thousands of people come and go, and he remembers me. It’s little things like that, you know?
So anyway, I’ve been invited by the people of Laity Lodge to start this blog and write about this place and what it means. I’m going to remain anonymous because my life isn’t particularly important. I am every man or woman who drives through the river to find what she needs, or to lose what he never should have had in the first place.
Why don’t you just call me…Pilgrim.
Your second paragraph really got me. How many times have I been the person who takes notes so I can do more, think better, push harder.
Laity Lodge always reminds me to slow down and be in the world.
Thanks for sharing your story, Pilgrim.
I love it that you’re doing this. And I always love “Pilgrim’s” writing. So cool.
Man, looks like Laity Lodge has some fresh new leadership. Excellent.
“Whoa, take ‘er easy there, Pilgrim” -John Wayne
I can’t wait to see the Pilgrim’s treatment of a place I love so much.
I always enjoy hearing stories from the folks we serve in the Frio Canyon. Looking forward to many more.
can’t wait to see Pilgrim progress. Great start.
The canyon opened its arms to me for the first time one week ago today. I’m still wrapped in it.
Thanks everyone! I’m pretty excited about this as well. Looking forward to writing about some of the quirky little things at Laity. Feeding turtles. Visiting the Native American midden. The fish fossil in the fireplace. All of it.
I’ve got lots of pictures from over the years too.
Ahhhhhh… “The Freedom of Laity Lodge”… those hopeful words which invite anxious souls to “take it all in or select as you’re drawn…” It’s truly a place where healing happens – body, mind and soul. Thanks for sharing your firsthand experiences.
Pilgrim, you make me want to come there and rest my weary self. But I suppose that is part of why you are writing. Maybe someday I will.
I just had my first experience at Laity Lodge. I don’t know if I came with answers, but I did come with expectations, and they were all wrong. My time there was different – and better – than I could ever have hoped. So excited to read more of these pilgrim words.
My husband, an engineer, gave me the gift of the writing retreat at Laity Lodge. As an engineer, his world is very much about doing and results. I wasn’t sure whether I could go home and tell him that, after investing in me, I’d come home as a better writer. I came home, instead, a better person I think. Glad you’re doing this. Looking forward to reading more.
When the need arises, a master/teacher/lodge will appear. Thanks, Pilgrim. Looking forward to more.
My mind went to John Wayne too….for an instant.
The more I read, the more convinced I am that I must go. Thank you for this.
You’ve captured what a lot of us experience. Thanks for the story well-told.
My first time to visit Laity Lodge was last year. We rolled in late, slipping into the water in pitch blackness. I could see nothing, but I smelled it: the wet limestone of the Frio riverbed. This time, I saw it, photographed it, marveled at the surprising genius of using the existing solid rock as a road.
And then I rolled into camp to receive whatever was offered, from food to laughter to words. It offered me all that nourishment and more.
Ah, good to see you here, Pilgrim. Looking forward to more – more pictures, more memories, more insights. Totally get that whole ‘needing to be ready to receive’ what this place has to offer…open hands, open heart, open mind. And a belly-deep sigh of recognition and relief. First time for me last week – and what struck me was the exquisite attention to detail all along the way, from linen table napkins, to cozy throws on the beds, to carefully woodworked doors, to welcoming hosts and hostesses. Here comes another sigh…
Thank you Pilgrim for sharing. I also have a history with Laity Lodge. I kind of grew up at the Lodge because my mother Frances Worley worked as a secretary for the Foundation offices in Kerrville. I was the proverbial problem child but my mother never gave up on me and she would get me work on weekends at the Lodge working in the kitchen with that wonderful Godly cook Ullalia who had so many delicious recipes.
Laity is a very special place where a person can go to meet with God and I learned a lot in my years visiting there. I also got a very special blessing from my mother when I finally got married in 1987, my mother arranged for my new wife Wendy and I to spend our honeymoon at the Quiet House. We have been married 24 years now.
Laity Lodge is a special spiritual place where one can literally retreat from the “church world” which can be so busy and structured that you don’t have time to really “seek the Lord”. I will always have fond memories of the Lodge and the Butts for establishing such a great place to “get away with God”.
My prayer is that Laity Lodge would be able to continue as a Spiritual Retreat a place where you can be still and hear that still…small…voice…inside.
“It’s okay. Laity Lodge received me as I was. It gave me what I was ready to receive.”
This. This is what I would have said if I had those kinds of words.
Thanks for this post. I have been only once, but I already I have my own important Laity Lodge stories – amazing how that place makes indelible marks on so many lives, in such a short time. I look forward to coming again.
Laity Lodge has been a second home to me since my first visit in the early 80′s. It is there where I most clearly see the face of Christ through the beauty of nature, the freedom and safety and acceptance to simply be, and the caring provision for so many weary pilgrims like me. Thanks be to God for this sacred space, and for you, Pilgrim, for putting my feelings into eloquent words for us all.
What an awesome story…
LLYC has had my son as a visitor for the past 6 years. It’s true – it’s a very special place – no other place like it.
I was there in Sept with my childhood camp buddy marian Seale Freeland, who lovingly brought me back to the arms of Laity Lodge. Though I grew up “in” and even worked on crew at LLYC, as an adult- I had only been 1 time and I was in my 20′s so maybe too young to really appriciate it. It was a WONDERFUL experience with my Marian and so many other lovely people I met there.
I will forever call Laity “Camp”. No Matter how oldI get or how serious the message is…
What a great blog – I have been going to LL for 10+ years and love the place. I love it so much that when we bought a 2nd home, we renamed Laity Lodge East (it is just west of Houston on a lake)has the same high ceilings and the tall wall of glass looking over the water. God’s present everywhere but at LL, he is alive and pushing me to listen, to wonder and to return with a new perspective. Some speakers don’t rebuild my faith but on those trips, I am met with the memories of Eddie, Howard Hovde, Tim Blank, Steven Purcell, Ms. Ann Jack, the Blue Hole, or just the food and hot chocolate and the settings – all reconfigure my life and walk with God for me. Heaven just a little closer at Laity Lodge and so I try not to go more than a year between visits because there is always a new person there helps me to see how fortunate I am and yet so grateful to this visitor too. Laity is the type of association I wish everyone could experience. Thanks Pilgrim – I will be reading your blogs and thank you.
Pilgrim,
Laity Lodge has always been that place where I could go to refresh myself physically, mentally and especially spiritualy. Your words have made all of us think about our private times at Laity Lodge. Keep it coming! Thank you and Gob bless.
We are all on a journey of life–and faith. Thankfully Laity Lodge has been a frequent way point for me on that journey. Like, so many I have been enriched each time I experience the Canyon.
Wayne Grant
When I first came to Laity Lodge I had not been a widow very long. A friend told me about it and took me to the roadside park from which you can look down into much of it. I was driving alone my first trip in. The unpaved road with its twists and turns was daunting enough. Then I came to the river and the sign that says, “Yes, you drive in the river!” Ths was only the beginning of a glorious adventure.
I’ve been back many times and only recently quit going. I’m 85 now and a little reluctant to drive so far alone. But I have many delicious memories. I’ll relive a lot of them as I read the blogs. Thank you.
I have never been to the Holy Land across the sea, but I have been to Laity’s Holy Land. I envision Jesus walking among the rushes, rocks, trees and springs. I see Him reach out to the hummingbirds, fawn and wildlife. I feel God’s presence and I experience a rebirth, breathing in the freshness of the hills as we drive in the river and enter “my place of peacefulness.” Our retreats have bound us together as sisters and friends.
My stays have led to lots of creativity and writing:
Rebirth
I will leave this Holy Place
as I entered
surrounded by water
leaving the womb that is Laity…
a rebirth from the bustle of my life…
Once again, nourished,
loved and loving…
My starving soul
had cried out and
I thank God I listened…
I return home
fed and nurtured
as a new leaf
popping from its
winter branch
for a new season
and to embrace
a new day!
Thanks
be
to
God!
Thank you Pilgrim and Laity. Thank you to all who are sharing their thoughts and memories.
Thank you Pilgrim for you honesty. It is so reflective, and I find myself identifying with having more questions now than answers. I have always been a fast paced “go getter” and yet I find myself wanting to slow down and look more intently at God’s purpose for me. It’s so easy to have our own perspective and miss His, but Laity Lodge sure helps in that process of recognizing His still powerful presence. Tracy
Laity has been a part of my life since I was 9. I am now in my 50′s. I thank God for the Butts, that they allowed God to use them to bless so many lives & allow God to touch each one where they are and say to them: Here is a taste of Heaven – a time to heal, listen, and renew. God has chosen to bless Laity with his presence, and to let me feel his presence there as no other place.
Thanks pilgrim for opening your heart and experiences with us, and letting us remember our own.
Thank you pilgrim for sharing. Laity Lodge has become special to me also. In June of 2005 after losing my mom, step-dad and a brother-in-law in the course of 6 weeks, I needed renewing. For years I had heard of Laity Lodge from members of Manor Baptist in San Antonio—-so I decided to attend a retreat. I attended alone but found many kindred spirits that week-end and wonderful fellowship with the Lord. I have returned three times since then. It’s a taste of heaven.
Dear Pilgrim, I believe in you, whatever you do. I met you at my first visit to Laity Lodge. I will be back again. It’s been a long time since I felt God’s grace sufficiently to cry. I think I cried next to you one morning, singing. You were the first person I talked with there. You said, “I’ve resigned from my church.” And I said, to myself, “Maybe from that church but not from Church and not from God.” You celebrated Communion. Thanks for your good words. Your voice matters.
Linda,
Yep, that was me. Thanks for the kind words.